This may be the most important post you read this Christmas so, don’t stop… you have been warned.
Today I will be guiding you on how to get out of life’s most awkward Christmas moments, because lets facts it, it’s a sticky time of year, awkwardness lurks at every Christmas tree filled corner. So I shall waste no time at all because some of these may have occurred already:
This has it’s own section because SOOOOO much can go wrong with presents, it’s bad enough picking them out for everyone else, but you forget the horror of having to open them in front of everyone else.
The First one is opening a present, you absolutely hate, like literally does this person even know you? What is it? What is that? What does it do? I can’t even! But little do you know, whilst these questions are rushing through your head, your face is reacting to them, meaning that everyone can see EXACTLY WHAT YOU THINK OF THAT VERY PRECIOUS ARTICLE YOU HAVE IN YOUR HANDS!!! Do not fret. All you need to do is simply carry on looking down at the gift and then act like you suddenly realise how amazing it is and smile, look up and for God’s sake, SAY THANK YOU. What a lovely…thing they have gifted. If they look a bit apprehensive, simple state that you didn’t realise what it was, but now you know…WOW! Perfection, honestly -_-
The other arguably worse thing that can occur is when you unwrap something, and you know EXACTLY what it is. It may be a overly-sexual gift from your lover or something much more cheeky than grandma thought. When this occurs, I can’t really give you much help. I just hope for your sake that there aren’t too many people watching at the time. All I can suggest is giggling slightly WITHOUT ATTRACTING TOO MUCH ATTENTION and then sliding “it” back into “it’s” box or wrapping paper and sliding it behind you as fast as possible, again WITHOUT ATTRACTING TOO MUCH ATTENTION!
*Shudders* moving on
Possibly the most common and probably ,most awkward moment that happens to everyone at some point in their life, forgetting someone’s Christmas Card. I can picture it now, giving some of you HOARD of cards out to friends or family and then walking up to another, GETTING THEIR ATTENTION…and frantically looking through your pile, before saying “Oh”. I am so sorry for you. All you can do i’m afraid is ensure that you make a full list before writing them out, going through them with someone else and double checking all your group chats to ensure no one is left out.
Equal to this is being of the receiving end or…not receiving end. Basically if you can see someone’s left you out, be nice. As seen in the paragraph above, they probably genuinely did just forget. Don’t take it to heart, just laugh and say don’t worry, give it to be next time. Who knows, you may even get an extra present from all the bother they caused?
This needs to be a whole novel itself, here’s just a few though:
“Reuniting” with someone who hasn’t seen you since you ‘were this tall’. I mean, who is this woman? Why am I being forced to kiss her cheek? What do you want from me? Are you important? Literally, I don’t think anyone you ask could answer you these questions clearly and confidently. Just be polite, who knows they may get you a present – wait, I’ve already said that, sorry, priorities – be polite – they may help you out in the future/you might make their day?
Now this THIS is what kills me. The Love Life Question. Got a Boyfriend yet Natalie? No, i haven’t YET Auntie Jane! There are a few ways you can answer this, or a question like this, obviously the first one mentioned is what usually happens but you may be also tempted to go “Not yet Deerdrie, Got a new hip yet?” or “Still pretending that’s your natural hair colour?” or even “Have you?” Cause to be honest, if they have the cheek to interview you on your love life choices or…lack of them, you have the right to hit back. But to be honest, they’re family and it IS Christmas, so just be polite again…or failing that passive aggressive and sarcastic (you can rant about it later).
Lastly, we come to when you ask THE WRONG QUESTION and it literally makes your stomach churn (not good after all that Turkey and Wine). They’ve either broken up with that person, or lost that job or some other tragedy and literally what are you meant to do, it was perfectly innocent. Just say something like “Oh, I’m so sorry” or “there’ll be others” or “Good, I never liked them anyway”, though, that last one could be a bit dodgy if they get back together after Christmas. Then move the conversation on, VERY VERY QUICKLY, so at least they wont resent you for too long.
Well, there we go. A full list of the most awkward moments around Christmas, believe me, there are maaannnnny more so if you would like something else like this is the future (maybe a new years or valentine version) let me know
See you tomorrow and Merry Natsmas!